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Researching x my stud. I swear My business is sane.... maybe some misguided though Why Spongebob Squarepants would be the perfect girl for my situation . I had written this awhile back, and I wasn�t sure where to start with it, as well as what to make of myself. This seems as if the place. In this article you go Craigslisters, When i present my arguments, in bullet type, why Spongebob Squarepants would be the perfect girl. x. He�s small maintenance. No matter what goes on to him, he / she never needs validation from anyone, intended for anything. He never asks Patrick to express to him who he can be, never uses his friction with Squidward to bolster his very own ego. All his energy is targeted outward, albeit in most cases with mixed (and hilarious) outcomes. He never complains about those results either, just trudges on with blind, infectious positive outlook. x. He�s a superb cook. In truth, he makes unquestionably the most beneficial burger in Tankini Bottom. People originated from everywhere to typically the Crab Shack for justof his Crabby Patties. How rare is usually a girl who are able to cook, and has it? x. He lives within a pineapple. Imagine having crazy sex within a giant pineapple. All of that gooey, sweet, sugary awesomeness supplying both full body lubrication as well as a certain fun kinkiness. Sex inside just about anything else wouldn�t be anywhere so much fun. An apple would sting. Some sort of tomato would spot. While we�re on the subject, do you want variety in your lovin? He�s got Many holes, and he�s not really shy about himself or hung up in the slightest. He also plays spice up. Weekly. And in most cases twice on Sunday mornings. x. He�s more comfortable with his job. Mr. Crab gives him shit as well as he cares, never ever bitches. Never comes back home and says to his pet snail �if the fact that dude Squidward don�t log off my ass, I�m planning to kill him! � The pineapple is usually a harmonious place because Spongebob checks that shit around the door. x. He / she manages his emotions. We�ve all looked at Spongebob flip out. We�ve all looked at chicks flip away. The difference is actually that Spongebob Squarepants REMAINS FOCUSED. He might explode. His eye lids may shrivel up like raisins. He might pull off his own legs and arms and beat himself together in total panic and anxiety and frustration. He / she never loses sight of what he�s tossing out ABOUT, nevertheless. Every girl I�ve ever met starts being mad within the dish I just broke, or the volume of beer I might have drunk at your ex family reunion (we just about all need help through the hard times, the Lord, my Lord) though. Do ya believe me? x. He�s loyal. Patrick is an idiot, but he finds methods to relate and have some fun. Mr. Crabs is usually a jerk, but he will get past it possesses a healthy succeed ethic. He�s maintained a normal platonic relationship along with a displaced female squirrel. Possibly Squidward, despite all his efforts towards contrary, has a neighbor the anesthetist can count on any time day or night. (Aside: Squidward is usually a douche bag with regard to not recognizing this) x. He knows how to rejoice. Boy does he or she ever. He desires eating contests, farts, TELLY, singing, hiking, having fun with his body, sports (did you observe the snail race? better than Hoosiers), and just generally acting silly and laughing to sort it out. I�m telling a person, he�s got to remain totally awesome to hang out with. x. He�s more comfortable with his body. So he�s not the right shape. He�s some sort of square. But she or he never complains. You�ll never ever hear the phrase �height-weight proportional� uttered through those yellow mouth area (anyway his height-weight the amount is geometriy perfect, a fact which Most likely can be demonstrated mathematiy). He don�t supply a shit. He just buys the suitable clothes (square) not to mention looks great and that�s the top of it. No endless asking about why typically the universe shaped him the best way he is. Not any internal battles. A simple square man along with a healthy simple future. x. He�s some sort of virgin (I�d bet). People say experience means everything? I suggest bullshit. Comfort and communication trump experience when. Working at a sex life is just possible in a situation dominated by thesetraits and amplified with a sense of excitement. Spongebob has frequently demonstrated these attributes. Now, what do you want to? A willing accomplice or the particular somebody else shown? x. He doesn�t have, smoke or do drugs. Actually, We do enjoy the spontaneous cocktail or e cigarette, and as you'll have guessed, I have been known to smoke it down a bit and watch reveals like, say, Spongebob Squarepants (WTF, what did you will this morning that was so important, Mr. Smartypants? ), nevertheless thing about all of our man Bob can be that theses items don�t rule this life, and couldn�t you imagine that first date at a bar? Somehow without needing kickinggame of Makers Indicate back with Spongebob Squarepants seemingly mesmerizing. You think he�d sit at this time there and bitch with regards to his exes? Oh dear. He�s much more a large quanity up the jukebox along with kick up his heels to the bar kind of guy. He�ll take his lumps as it (case in purpose, the Motorhead bar with the movie, where the fascist motor cyclist dudes kick the ass but he shoot out grinning) but I bet the night would be comical. Imagine him attracting a big lug and blowing the idea out all your partner's orifices. Imagine him speaking to that drunken barfly people always see plus making that ancient bitch laugh. You�d get to do all this shit by using him for to start with. x. He reflects on good parenting ability. Did you look at episode where Spongebob and Patrick find a lost baby sop and commit to raise it as his or her? No?!? Well, allow me the chance elucidate. Patrick represents the male purpose and he sucks during it. He sneaks off all for x hours to watch TV at home while Spongebob, given that the mother figure (complete by using apron and heels), holds relatives together. He does the cooking, cleaning and additionally baby-raising, all a while carrying the admittedly strained look on his have to deal with. Not to say I�m searching for a wife to exercise all and ok, i'll watch TV (um, hmm), it�s this he demonstrates these strength and very good humor. 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